


Christmas Snow

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Holidays, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-26
Updated: 2004-12-26
Packaged: 2018-12-26 21:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Tis the season for Christmas miricles. Will Brian's true path lie with Justin?





	Christmas Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Authors Note: If I made any errors in the religion part sorry I tried. I kind of lost Brian’s voice when trying to make him a priest he’s not quite his usual self although I guess that’s what the point of AU is. I hope this at least half way fulfills some of the fantasies of Brian being a priest.

* * *

Out of all his daily duties Brian always found this one the most difficult. He sat in a hard plastic chair next to Mr. Helms who was a hairs breath from dying. He’d already preformed last rights now all that was left to do was wait. Brian always grew reflective over his life while waiting for others to be called home. Was he living up to his full potential? Did he really choose the right path? What more could he do for the community? Endless thoughts cycled around in his head while the hospital monitors beeped, pinged and whooshed. Then as was expected the monitor went flat and the beep was now a never ending high pitched whine. Brian bowed his head and made the sign of the cross.

“May God be with you.”

Brian pulled on his over coat and scarf, his night duty at the hospital was finished. He’d planned to head back to the rectory. Christmas was fast approaching and there was a lot to be done. His long stride carried his down the hall. Brian could not explain it but he felt drawn to a certain room. He stopped at room 117. As he looked in the room through the window he felt a tug at his heart. There in a bed that seemed to swallow him up lay a battered boy. It looked like he had a very severe head injury. Brian prayed that God would not take this young man. He had so much living yet to be done. Brian let himself into the room and pulled up a chair next to the bed. Brian held the smaller hand in his and spoke softly.

“Hello I’m Brian. I was on my way out when I saw you. I thought you could use a bit of company. Don’t be afraid now, I’ll not leave you and I always keep my promises.”

As he talked to the boy he found himself brushing his thumb over the boy’s soft skin. A nurse walked in and jumped slightly when she saw him. 

“Oh father you startled me.”

“Sorry I hope it’s alright, I thought I’d sit with the boy for a while, keep him company.”

“Yes it’s more than fine. You’re the first visitor he’s had in a week. It’ll do him good if you talk to him.”

Brian was shocked that this angel of a boy had been left all alone. “Where are his parents?”

“No one has come forward to claim him. His name is Justin Taylor. He was bashed and left for dead. When he wakes up I don’t know where he’ll go, maybe there’s a place for him at the church? This one wasn’t meant for the street life if you know what I mean. Oh listen to me go on. I should be getting back to my rounds. Stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you I will and I’ll see what I can do about finding a place for Justin to go.”

He held Justin’s hand and talked till he near ran out of things to say and his voice was growing scratchy. Hours later Father Tom tracked him down.

“Brian I thought you left hours ago?”

“I know I was going to but this one here seemed to need me.”

“Well if you want a ride back to the rectory you best come along now. 4am comes entirely too early.”

Brian made a little groaning noise. “That it does.” Brian smiled good naturedly “tell me again why morning prayers have to start that early?”

Father Tom gave his usual reply “because that’s the way it’s been for centuries.”

“Allow me one more minute with Justin then I’ll be along. Justin it’s late and I’ve talked your ear off, I’ll let you rest now. Don’t worry I’ll be back tomorrow night and this time I’ll bring a book. I’m sure by now your sick of hearing about my childhood. I promise it won’t be the Bible either. If I started reading that we’d both be asleep. Uh don’t tell my superiors I said that. In my many ramblings did I forget to mention I’m a priest? So I’ve got it on good authority that you’ll not be called home to God even though you look like one of his angels.”

Brian didn’t know what came over him. Mindful of Justin’s bandages he brushed a lock of downy blonde hair aside and gently kissed Justin’s temple.  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Brian arrived back at the rectory in time for morning prayers. He said an extra special prayer for Justin. He couldn’t believe that the boy was left all on his own. Brian crashed for a few hours in his Spartan room. The room only held the bare necessities, a small bed and a small chest of drawers for his clothing. Over his bed hung a Celtic cross in honor of his Irish heritage. 

Upon awakening he helped out where he was needed most. He took meals to the elderly. He also spent some time sketching Christmas cards that would be sold with the proceeds going to the church and its parishioner. Brian also looked over another priest’s homily that he was to give on Sunday. He was glad he hadn’t been called on as of yet to give one. Brian wanted to speak to Father Tom about the welfare of Justin. He wanted to make sure the boy had a place to go when he got out of the hospital, he was confident that he would.

All afternoon Father Tom was busy helping the children rehearse for the play that would be presented on Christmas Eve. Brian was relived that that duty did not befall him. His patience did not lie with children. Brian was a young priest and had a lot to learn yet. He hadn’t been in the priest hood long, less than a year. His parents were happy when he took his final vows. Brian remembered that day clearly. He’d been waiting for something or someone to intervene but no one had and nothing happened. Then in a few short moments he was a priest, it’s what his parents always wanted for him.

Secretly some days Brian felt like he was hiding behind his collar and the priest hood. Hiding from life, from love, from the pursuit of something different. His life was simple pray, cater to the needs of others, pray, help out in the community, pray. It was a never ending cycle. He liked the structured living although he did wonder what he was missing in being loved by another. Brian was somewhat of a rarity around the priest hood, he was a virgin. He always thought that one should commit to God as a virgin. Times were different now. Most of the nun’s weren’t virgins except for some of the older ones who kept to the old way of things.

Brian met with Father Tom in his office.

“Brian what can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to touch base with you Father Tom. Later on I’ll be heading over to the hospital to sit with Justin Taylor, you remember the boy from last night?”

“I do.”

“The nurse seems to think he’ll awaken soon. The boy has nowhere to go. I said I’d look into finding him a place.”

“I’ve never seen you take an interest in any one person before. What is so special about the boy?”

Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know. I was drawn to his room. There is such an aura of goodness around him; something compels me to protect him. I can’t explain it.” 

Father Tom steepled his fingers in front of him mulling over the options. “I suppose in keeping with the spirit of Christmas he could temporarily stay at the rectory with us until you find a more suitable place for him, Justin will be you’re responsibly.” 

“Thank you Father Tom that’s most generous of you.”  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Brian settled himself in the chair by Justin’s bed. The night nurse must have switched chairs for him, this one seemed more comfortable. 

“I’m back like I promised. I bet your wondering what book I brought. Well I won’t keep you in suspense any longer its Moby Dick; it’s all I could find on short notice.”

Brian started the first chapter. He kept his voice soft and soothing. After every page he caught himself looking up to check on Justin. When he finished the first chapter he got up and stretched the kinks from his long lanky body. He reassured Justin that he would be back. He was in desperate need of some coffee even if it was hospital sludge. Brian went into the nearest bathroom and splashed some cool water on his face to help him keep awake.

When Brian returned to Justin’s bedside he once again held Justin’s hand. It felt cool to the touch so he warmed it with his own. Brian began to recount his day for Justin, telling him all the things he had done. He even told a slightly amusing story about one of the other priests. Something happened that made Brian lean closer. Justin’s fingers twitched in his hand. He knew he’d felt it. When he leaned in closer he could see Justin’s eyes flutter. He’d bet Justin had beautiful blue eyes.

Justin concentrated on the soothing voice. He was fairly certain he didn’t know the person. The voice was so calming. It could just be his imagination but he thought he heard a bit of an Irish lilt to it. The voice was definitely male. He wondered if the man was his handsome prince. Justin could feel the warmth from the man’s hand. It comforted him to know he was not alone. He didn’t remember much but he assumed by the awful pounding in his head that he was in a hospital. Also that sickening pine scent was a dead giveaway. He heard his name called by the stranger and again wondered who he was. Justin fought his way back to consciousness. 

“Justin, come on now I know you want to wake up. It’s almost Christmas you wouldn’t want to miss it would you? You’re a fighter Justin just open your eyes. I want to see those baby blues I know you must have.”

Justin’s eyes fluttered again and Brian felt the boy lightly grip his hand. Brian’s heart leapt for joy when Justin’s eyes fluttered again but this time opened slowly.

Brian spoke softly but couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice. “There you are. Just relax and take it easy you’ve been through a terrible ordeal. I’m going to call for a nurse that breathing tube has got to be uncomfortable.”

Justin fought to stay calm, the voice helped a lot but he knew something was wrong. His eyes were open at least he thought they were but he couldn’t see anything. The blackness was all consuming.

Then a nurse strode quickly into the room followed by the doctor on call.

“Now Justin I want you to relax as much as you can while I remove this tube.”

Justin was frightened but he wanted the tube out. He clutched at the hand that he’d never let go of. Once that horrible tube was out he could speak, something was definitely wrong. When the tube was out he coughed and gagged till he began breathing shallowly. A glass of water was pressed to his lips and he drank gratefully from it. The cool water felt wonderful, his throat was so dry.

He spoke in a horse voice. “Something is wrong, I can’t see.”

“Oh dear well lets have a look, father maybe you should wait outside till I examine Justin.”

Justin puzzled at the words, father that wasn’t his father’s voice. He doubted his father would even come visit him in the hospital. He’d been disowned long ago. He couldn’t remember when the last time he talked to his father. Father could mean only one other thing, a priest. What the fuck was a priest doing in his room? Justin began to panic to the point of hyperventilating. 

Brian shot the doctor a look. Justin must be terrified add to the fact he couldn’t see and there was an unknown priest in the room, he didn’t blame the boy.

“Justin please don’t panic. You’re not going to die, that’s not why I’m here. I’ll not be giving you last rights, just breathe.” 

Still holding on to Justin’s hand Brian wrapped his other arm around Justin’s trembling shoulders in a one armed hug. The doctor realized that the young priest had a way with calming the boy so he allowed him to stay. He did a few simple tests. Justin’s eyes did not focus on any particular object. The blindness could be temporary or given the severity of the injury permanent, it was too soon to tell. He ordered a series of tests to be done in the morning. 

When they were left alone again Brian could sense Justin’s unease, he didn’t want Justin to feel uncomfortable around him. “In all the confusion I don’t think we were properly introduced, I’m Brian or I suppose if you want to be formal about it Father Brian but I think I’d rather you just call me Brian.”

“I don’t mean to sound rude but what are you doing here?”

“The other night I was visiting a dying patient. I happened upon you by accident, heard you could use some company. If it makes you feel better I’ll take off my collar, underneath I’m just a man.”

Justin could hear the slight rustle as Brian moved, he figured he made good on his word about the collar.

“Ahh that’s much better.” He’d taken off his collar and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Sometimes the thing was so constricting. “I’m officially off duty.” 

Justin smiled slightly. “You sound young to be a priest.”

“Well I suppose I am. I’m only twenty nine.”

“Do you think it’s permanent? Do you think I’ll see again?” 

“I don’t know Justin but you’ll be in my prayers.”

That made Justin slightly uncomfortable. No one had ever prayed for him before. “Umm thanks.”

“May I ask about your family?”

Justin stiffened “what about them?”

“Why aren’t they here? Someone must miss you.”

“No one misses me trust me on that one. My parents disowned me; they threw me out of the house a while back.”

Brian couldn’t imagine what in the world Justin could have done to merit such treatment. “Where have you been living?”

“Here and there where ever I could.”

“Do you know why someone would want to hurt you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to tell me?” Brian asked.

“I don’t think you want to know.” 

Even though Brian was a young priest he was still a priest and most likely wouldn’t take to kindly to finding out he was gay.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, I’m here to listen and to help. You don’t have to worry about finding a place to stay when you’re released. I’ve talked it over with my superior and if you’d like you have a temporary place at the rectory. Granted we didn’t know you’d be coming to us blind but we’ll help each other out, what do you say?”

Justin voice crackled with emotion. “Why are you helping me?”

Brian patted Justin’s hand “because it’s the right thing to do.”

Justin felt so conflicted Brian was being so nice to him, offering him a place to stay and get well. A lie by omission was still a lie and if somehow Brian found out later he was gay he didn’t want the man to feel betrayed. “Since you’re a priest you’ve listened to confessions right?” 

“No I haven’t that’s usually reserved for the older priests I’ve only been a priest for eight months.”

“Before you take me in I have something to confess that might make you change your mind about inviting me to stay with you. I’m not catholic but will you hear my confession?” 

Justin looked so serious he thought he’d lighten the mood a bit. “Ohh don’t tell me I have to put that collar back on?”

Justin stifled a giggle. 

Brian paused “unofficially I suppose I could if it made you feel better.”

Justin sat up straighter in his bed. He looked off into the darkness. He imagined this is what it might be like in a real confessional, he couldn’t see Brian. Justin took a deep shuddering breath. “Bless me father for I have sinned. I’ve shamed my parents into disowning me and because of my lifestyle gotten bashed in the head. I like dick.”

Brian blinked in surprise “pardon?”

Justin decided to come out with guns blazing so to speak. “I want to get fucked by dick, I want to suck dick, I’m gay Brian.”

“If you’re trying to shock me I think you succeeded. It’s not my place to pass judgment on you. Thank you for having the courage to tell me. It doesn’t change anything if that’s what your wondering.” 

Justin smiled brightly for the first time. “You’re one cool priest Brian.” 

Brian laughed “well thank you.” Brian was mesmerized by Justin’s smile. “I think it’s best that we keep the information between us though. The others might not be so accepting.” 

“Ok I understand I just wanted you to hear it from me incase you somehow found out later. I have another confession, I’m scared Brian.”

Brian held Justin’s hand to comfort him. “I’m here for you, I won’t abandon you. Now I’m sure you must be exhausted, I know I am. You should get some rest I’ll come back tomorrow. Is there any thing I can do for you before I leave?”

Justin grimaced a blush crept up his cheeks. “Bathroom” Justin murmured. 

Brian helped Justin to and from the bathroom with little mishap and tucked him back in bed. With a promise he’d be back the next day he left. Before he left the hospital he went to pray in the chapel. Brian had a feeling deep down that things were about to change and they’d never be the same.  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

True to his word Brian visited Justin the next day. Justin was more relaxed around him and chatted up a storm, the boy barely took a breath between sentences. Justin’s vision remained unchanged.

“Why did you become a priest Brian?” 

“I suppose to please my parents; it’s what they always wanted for me.”

“But what do YOU want?”

“I don’t know I guess that’s why I went along with it; it’s not so bad really although I could do without the 4 am morning prayers.”

“4 am!” Justin gasped.

Brian chuckled “don’t worry you can sleep in, that is if you can sleep through the bells.”

“Do I detect an Irish accent?”

“Yes, I grew up in Ireland for most of my child hood.”

Justin smiled with interest. “What’s it like there?”

“It’s quite nice, peacefully quiet. Some of the areas have been kept to the old way of living. Everyone knows who you are and which family you come from. You’ll never see greener grass than in Ireland.”

“It sounds nice. Brian what do you look like?” When Justin was met with uncomfortable silence he added quickly “I use to be an artist.”

“Well I’m 6’2 some would say on the thin side. I have brown hair and hazel eyes, does that help?” 

“It’s a start.”

Brian hesitated before he placed Justin’s hands lightly on his face. The artist in Justin explored Brian’s features. Justin’s pulse quickened a bit, Brian was gorgeous it was a crying shame he was a priest and straight. Justin settled his hands back in his lap. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but you’re a very beautiful man, and artist’s dream.” 

With one sense gone the others kicked in. He could hear a hitch in Brian’s breathing and made a mental note, maybe the good priest wasn’t so straight after all. Justin mentally cringed though, a priest! He’d never cross that line.

Color bloomed on Brian’s cheeks. “Um thanks.”

“They are going to release me tomorrow.”

“I’ll bet you’ll be glad to be out of here.”

Justin sighed “I guess it’ll be better if I could see. All day they’ve been preparing me to leave, teaching me how to get around. I have to come back on a regular basis.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

Brian and Justin chatted on into the evening getting to know one another.   
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

The next afternoon Brian gathered up some clothes for Justin to change into. His old ones were beyond saving and he didn’t have much in the way of clothing to begin with. Between himself and another young priest more Justin’s size he’d have something to wear. When Brian entered Justin’s room he could see Justin was more than ready to leave. He left the clothing for Justin to change into. When he re entered the room Justin was standing by the hospital bed with a cane clasped in his hand. Brian helped Justin into one of his old winter parkas. Justin had his art satchel slung over his shoulder. Somehow it had been rescued in the attack. 

“Are you ready Justin?”

“Yeah let’s go.” Justin took a hold of Brian’s bicep and they slowly made their way to where the car was parked. It was a new experience for them both, following and leading. Justin trusted that Brian wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Brian got Justin seated in the car that the priests took turns using. He checked to make sure Justin was buckled up safe then they were off.

Justin made a little noise. “Ohh I don’t like this.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you ever closed your eyes in the car for a long amount of time?”

Brian thought a moment “I don’t believe so.”

“Well not being able to see with the motion of the car is making me queasy, talk to me, distract me. Who’s car is this?”

“The churches whenever a priest needs to go somewhere we use it. I don’t have a car. It falls under the whole possession thing.”

“I thought so. So where will I be sleeping?”

“With me.” As soon as he said that he blushed like mad and was grateful that Justin couldn’t see him.

“Oh really” Justin inflected a slight suggestion in his voice.

Brian stammered “what I meant was you’ll be staying in my room with me. An extra cot will be brought in.”

Justin giggled “I know what you meant. I was just having a bit of fun with you that’s all.”

There is a room you can use; one of the priests is on sabbatical so you can feel free to use his room. I just thought the first few nights you might not want to be alone. It’ll be a strange and unfamiliar place to you.” 

“Thank you Brian seriously for all you’ve done. You make me feel safe, you look after me, anticipate all my needs you’re a wonderful man Brian.” 

“You don’t have to keep thanking me Justin, I’m happy to be of help.”

When they got to the rectory Brian introduced Justin to Father Tom then gave him a tour of where he’d be staying for the next short while. The layout was pretty open. Brian moved anything ahead of time that he thought Justin might hurt himself on. The rooms were pretty barren so Justin wouldn’t have much trouble navigating.

“I may not be able to see but the room feels depressing.”

Brian chuckled “yes I suppose it does seem that way, we’re not suppose to have a lot in the way of possessions.”

Justin stuck close to Brian’s side feeling safer with him then going off and exploring on his own. He wasn’t that good at navigating yet. Justin learned a little bit about what duties Brian did everyday with out fail. When Brian noticed that Justin was beginning to tire he took him to his room for a nap. Before he could leave the room Justin spoke.

“What’s your last name? I don’t remember you ever telling me.”

“It’s Kinney; now get some rest your exhausted.” 

“Brian Kinney I like it, it suits you” Justin murmured before falling asleep.  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

For the next few days Justin shadowed Brian throughout the day. He helped Brian with his duties if he could. Every afternoon Brian would take him to the hospital for more training on how to get around. As he grew accustomed to his surroundings he loosened up a bit and was very charming to the other priests. He made friends quickly among them.

When Justin learned of the play the children were putting on he shyly asked Father Tom if he could help out in any way. He’d always had a way with children. Father Tom put him to work on the play immediately. The children instantly took to Justin. Brian made it a point to look in on Justin every so often. He needn’t worry though, one little girl from the play appointed herself his helper and made sure he was ok. Brian swore Justin knew every time he was there, he’d usually stop what he was doing and smile in his direction. When he asked him about it Justin laughed and said he could tell by his foot steps. He’d taught himself quickly how to tell who was there by the certain pattern of their footsteps and could already tell several of the priests apart especially him. Justin never moved out of Brian’s room preferring not to be alone. Brian never minded they were fast friends from the start.

One night after play rehearsal Brian stopped by to see Justin.

“Hey Brian.”

Brian chuckled “I can’t fool you can I?”

Justin laughed “oh you probably could if you really wanted to.”

“So how’s the play coming?”

“Pretty good you know how plays are; either it’s a total disaster or a success.” 

“I thought I’d escort you to dinner.” Brian offered Justin his arm.

“How very gallant of you, I accept.” Justin took Brian’s arm and they walked to the dining hall where they took their meals with the other priests. Brian always made it a point to sit next to Justin so he could help him. Justin only excepted help when it was necessary. Justin was still learning to cope with his blindness so he didn’t put up to much of a fuss when Brian did things for him.

Brian pulled out his chair for him and he sat down. If he wanted to fool himself he could swear at times Brian acted more like a boyfriend than a friend who was a priest. There was a prayer before the evening meal, afterwards Justin murmured in Brian’s direction. 

“I remember the first dinner we had together. I was so sure I was going to starve. I was expecting figs and berries. I had no idea what priests ate” Justin giggled.

Brian mock sighed “my silly boy, we’re no different than ordinary people.”

“Well but you do live differently so it was an honest mistake.”

Brian dished up a plate of food for Justin then using the clock method told him where everything was. When he attempted to help more Justin slapped his hand away.

“Brian you’re hovering, behave.”   
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Brian groaned in his sleep and shifted restlessly. 

Justin slipped in between the sheets. His hand began to fondle Brian. Brian felt his body betray him as he felt his member go stiff and turgid. His sweatpants were pushed down to tangle at his ankles. He saw Justin lick his pouty lips. Justin lapped at Brian’s dripping cock while fondling his ball sack. Brain whimpered as he fisted the sheets. He’d never allowed himself to feel anything like this before. It was so wrong on so many levels but right then he didn’t care as Justin flicked his tongue over the sensitive head of his leaking cock. Justin slowly swallowed every inch of Brian’s nine inch dick. Brian looked down between his legs and saw Justin’s blonde head bobbing over his groin. His hand ran through Justin’s golden locks lightly tugging at the longer strands. His hips bucked uncontrollably every time Justin’s tongue delved into his piss slit. Justin swallowed and moaned around the thick shaft in his mouth. He felt Brian’s stomach muscles ripple and knew the man was close. Justin made his middle finger nice and wet. Brian’s eyes were shut tight, his head thrashing against his pillow. Justin lightly rubbed his finger across Brian’s twitching hole. He pressed against the delicate bud so it could be felt but he didn’t penetrate him. Brian gave a toe curling moan and came against his sheets over and over till he was spent and shaken. Brian woke up as the last bit of cum trickled down the inside of his thigh.

Brian sat up with a start, heart racing he ran a shaking hand through his sweat dampened hair. He hadn’t experienced a nocturnal emission since he was a teenager. Dear sweet lord the things Justin had done to him, he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment and shame. He shouldn’t be having these feelings about Justin, he was just a kid. He was older and there for should be able to ignore those types of feelings. When Brian looked over at Justin he found him awake. His head was resting against his propped up hand. Justin smiled a devastating smile.

“Sounds like someone had a very good dream.”

Brian stammered “sorry if I woke you I um uhh don’t usually…”

“It’s ok Brian really it happens to the best of us. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” 

Brian looked at the small clock and groaned. It was almost time to get up anyway. He had to hurry if he wanted to get cleaned up before morning prayers. Brian stripped off his soaked sheets grabbed up his clothing and with a hurried ‘later’ was out the door.

Justin flopped back on his cot. Listening to Brian’s moans of passion hadn’t done anything to help his morning hard on. He nearly came himself listening to Brian reach orgasm. He wondered what got Brian so hot and bothered. Justin figured it was just good ol’ repression. His hand snaked down under the covers to give his neglected cock a few strokes. Brian had been so vocal it had really turned him on.

Brian made it to morning prayers without a moment to spare. He spent extra time on his knees in penance for the dream he’d had. The hard floor was unforgiving on his knees. Most of the priests had little benches that they sat on while kneeling; it took most of the strain off the knees. This morning he felt like punishing himself. After breakfast Brian went to the confessional to confess his sins. He entered the confessional and made the sign of the cross then waited for the patrician to slide back.

“Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been a month since my last confession.”

“Go on.”

“I’ve had impure thoughts and last night I had an inappropriate dream that was most sinful.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Well my son you shouldn’t blame yourself too harshly. One cannot control dreams. If we could there would never be any night mares, same with the impure thoughts. As long as you do not act on them you have not sinned quite so much.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of father that I’ll act on them. I…. I want to and that’s what frightens me.” 

“We are all tempted from time to time, you must resist temptation my son. Say five our fathers and three Hail Mary’s and do one act of contrition and all will be forgiven.”

“Thank you father.”

“If you wish to speak further about your fears my chamber is always open to you.”

“Of course father” Brian said meekly.  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Brian made his appointed rounds but something made him take a detour to the rectory’s library. That’s where he found Justin huddled in a chair with tears streaming down his face. It broke his heart to see Justin so sad. Brian went to him and knelt by his chair.

“Justin what’s wrong?”

Justin hastily brushed away his tears. “It’s nothing I’m just being silly” Justin sniffled. 

“Tell me” Brian spoke softly.

“I’m just feeling sorry for myself. It’s the holidays, I’m blind, I don’t have a home. I know I can only stay here temporarily.” 

Brian took Justin in his arms and held him while he cried. He rubbed Justin’s back softly. He heard Justin sigh softly. 

“You smell nice.”

Brian laughed “it must be the incense.”

Justin acted without thinking he was just caught up in the moment. He leaned in closer to Brian and kissed his cheek. The kiss caught the corner of Brian’s mouth. Startled at the impulsive kiss Justin shifted away.

“I’m sorry, I … I wasn’t thinking.” 

“It’s ok Justin.”

“It just happened I swear I didn’t really mean anything by it.”

Brian took Justin’s hands in his. “Justin it’s ok, it’s ok.” 

Justin nodded silently. “Friends?” 

“Always” Brian murmured.   
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

On Christmas Eve Brian and Justin attended the play the children had worked so hard on. Brian sat next to Justin on the hard pew. The play was deemed a success. After it was over Justin felt restless and needed to get out and get some fresh air. He left by a side door Brian followed soon after. 

“It’s cold out” Brian said by way of conversation.

“It’s winter.”

“That it is. Look Justin if you’re worried about where you’ll live after you leave here don’t. I happen to know of a place you can stay.”

Justin sighed “where? I don’t have any money.”

“I have a loft you can stay there rent free.”

“I thought priests didn’t have any possessions?”

“The loft belonged to a great uncle it was to be kept in the family. The papers aren’t in my name, there in his. He wanted me to have a place should I ever decide I wasn’t cut out for the priest hood.”

Justin blinked back tears. “I don’t know what to say Brian; you’ve been so kind to me.”

Just then it began to snow. Justin could feel the cold wetness on his face. He tilted his head upward so the flakes fell softly on his face. Brian’s breath caught Justin looked so beautiful standing there with fluffy white flakes falling all around him. Justin blinked and turned his gaze slowly towards Brian and blinked again. He couldn’t believe what was happening. His vision was slowly coming into focus. Christmas miracles really did happen.

“Brian, I…. I can see you.”

Brian stood there stunned. Justin smiled at him with this amazingly beautiful smile.

Justin giggled “you are so handsome, you’re just how I pictured.” 

Brian couldn’t help but blush and this time Justin saw it all.  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

On Christmas day Brian sought out Justin to give him his present. Justin took the velvet wrapped parcel. 

“Brian you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Brian gave Justin a look that said ‘open it already.’ Justin giggled and tugged off the string that was keeping the velvet wrapping in place. He lifted out a leather bound book.

“Moby Dick why does this seem familiar?” 

“I read some of it to you when you were in the hospital.”

Justin hugged the book to his chest. “Thank you.” He grabbed Brian’s hand and pulled him along to their room. “I have a present for you too.”

Brian was baffled that Justin would have time to get him a gift made or otherwise. Justin set the book on his bed and got a rolled up paper, it was tied with a bit of string. “I drew that last night. I couldn’t sleep; I guess I was just so excited to be able to see again. I hope you like it.” 

“I’m sure I’ll love it.” Brian tugged off the string and unrolled the paper. Justin had drawn him. He was slightly looking downward with the most peaceful expression on his face. The stain glass windows were behind him with a soft light shining down upon him. Justin shifted nervously waiting to see what Brian thought of it.

“You are very talented. Is this how you see me?”

“Yes do you like it?”

“I shall treasure it always.”

Justin smiled relieved that Brian liked his gift. 

Brian shut the door to the room. “Justin we need to talk.”

“About what?” Justin asked nervously.

They sat on their beds facing each other. 

“I oh this is so hard.” Brian stared up at his Celtic cross. “On the day I took my vows to become a priest I waited for as long as I could. Secretly I was waiting for someone to stop me, to take me away and love me but that didn’t happen. I…. I believe I was waiting for you. Justin since the moment you came into my life I’ve had feelings for you. I’ve tried to ignore them, put them out of my mind but I don’t thing I can.”

“I feel the same way Brian but I felt so horrible about it because you’re a priest and I wouldn’t cross that line ever, so where does that leave us?”

Brian clasped Justin’s hand. “If you think we should give it a try I’m willing. I can resign, give up the priest hood. Its better I do it now then get myself excommunicated. I’d rather just leave quietly than create a scandal.”

“Brian are you sure you want to give up being a priest?”

“I’m sure, I’ve always questioned weather this was the right path for me or not. I want to be with you, you’re my true path.”

Justin smiled and arched a brow. “I had my suspicions you were queer. That x rated dream you had was about me wasn’t it?”

Brian blushed “you won’t get a confession out of me.”

Justin tickled Brian’s side. “Oh I probably could if I wanted to.”  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

They waited till the first of the year then keeping up appearances for the church Brian sent Justin away. He gave Justin the key and the alarm codes to the loft and directions on how to get there. Brian gave him the number of a cleaning service, the loft hadn’t been lived in for quite some time. He’d also have to stock the fridge. Brian made a promise to Justin that he’d be along in a few weeks. He had to get his affairs with the church in order. It would not be easy but he strongly believed that Justin was worth it. Brian couldn’t even stand to be away from Justin for a day. He knew in his heart he was making the right choice.

Brian knocked on Father Tom’s office door. He was so nervous he thought he would be ill.

“Come in Brian you wanted to talk to me about something?”

“I wish to leave the priest hood.”

“Are you sure? I thought you were happy here?”

“I was happy here for a while but on some level I’ve always questioned if this was right for me. To be honest I was hiding from myself this isn’t who I was meant to be.”

“I see and this decision wouldn’t have anything to do with the boy now would it?”

Brian went pale.

“I have eyes Brian, the way you looked at him and cared for him I’d say you were down right smitten with him. You can speak freely what is said will go no further.”

“I’m in love…. with him. I didn’t want to disgrace the church so I think its best I leave the priest hood. I want you to know that while we shared a room we did not share a bed.”

“Thank you for being so truthful it wouldn’t have been the first time something like that happened nor the last I suppose. I give you my blessing. You are free to leave at any time. I wish you all the best in your life.” 

Brian blinked back tears “thank you father that means a lot to me.”  
\+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Brian packed up what little there was, a few sets of regular clothes and his Celtic cross above the bed. Brian took a cab to the loft. It had only been a few weeks but he missed Justin so much. Justin didn’t know he was coming. Brain bounded up the stairs not bothering to wait for the elevator. He knocked on the door wanting to surprise Justin. When Justin opened the door and saw who it was his smile was so bright it could melt all the snow. 

“You look different.”

“Justin it’s only been two weeks. How much could I have changed?”

Justin laughed “no that’s not it, it’s the clothes I’ve never seen you in regular clothes before.”

“How many times do I have to tell you under that collar I was always just a man.” Brian pulled Justin in for their very first kiss. It was sweet and loving and it took their breath away.

“I missed you” Justin breathed.

“Me too.”

“Did you have any trouble leaving?”

“No, Father Tom knows though apparently I’m pretty transparent. He let me go with his blessing.”

“So we’re not going to hell then?”

“No who told you that utter nonsense?” 

“My parents” Justin whispered.

Brian cupped Justin’s face. “We’re going to be just fine.”

Justin cooked them dinner while Brian looked around the loft. It had been ages since Brian had been here last but it was exactly how he remembered it. Even the furniture remained the same. Justin was a great cook. Over dinner they caught up with what the other had been doing. While Justin got the loft livable again he sketched endlessly. It had been so frustrating for him when he couldn’t see. He felt like he was making up for lost time. Brian encouraged him to enroll into an art school. Money wasn’t an issue Brian’s great uncle had been rich and left a large sum to Brian. At first Justin didn’t want to accept the money but Brian struck a bargain with him. When he became a successful artist he could pay him back by helping some other struggling artist. Justin agreed to the terms.

After awhile Justin headed for the bedroom. He stripped down to his briefs and got into bed. He waited for Brian but the older man seemed a little nervous. Justin sighed and called out to Brian. “Brian get your butt in here, I swear on all that is holey that I won’t attack you.”

Brian appeared looking a bit sheepish. Justin smiled at him reassuringly then became engrossed in the folds of the duvet till he felt Brian slide in next to him.

“Justin I’ve never….”

Justin stopped him with a quick kiss. “We don’t have to rush this. I’ve never been with anyone either, you’re my first and I’m glad it’s gonna be you.”

Their bodies we’re flush against each other. They could feel each others hardness. They softly kissed, Justin nuzzled against Brian’s neck kissing him everywhere he could reach. Their cocks rubbed against one another, their moans got swallowed up in the depths of the others mouth. They explored each others bodies with light touches and caresses. Justin was perched on top of Brian letting his hands roam freely. He petted Brian’s hip. Justin moved his hand closer to Brian’s neglected cock.

“Is it ok?” He asked not wanting to push Brian’s comfort zone. 

“Yeah” Brian gasped.

Justin’s hand wrapped around Brian’s velvety length, stroking him slowly. Justin watched Brian intently as the heated passion overtook him. He watched as Brian bit his lip, felt Brian thrust up against him wanting more. Brian’s eyes were glazed over with lust and love for Justin. Hearing Brian’s moans made him want to cum and he nearly did when he felt Brian’s hand on his cock, matching him stroke for stroke. They kissed with heated desire as they fell into a rocking motion that created a wonderful friction. Their cocks leaked and rubbed together. They were both in heaven. Their legs were tangled together. Justin ground his hips against Brian intensifying their pleasure. Brian was squeezing and kneading his ass in a pleasurable rhythm. Justin mewled deep in his throat, he needed to get off.

One of Brian’s fingers was resting along the crack of his ass and it was driving him crazy. They humped against each other like horney inexperienced teens. Justin reached between them and thumbed Brian’s slit. Brian came with an earth shattering moan and Justin wasn’t far behind. They drenched each other’s chest and stomach with hot cum that never seemed to end. They held each other through the aftershocks. Justin kissed Brian sweetly then dropped off to sleep in Brian’s arms. Brian hugged Justin close to him all wet and sticky. He buried his face in Justin’s hair falling asleep not long after. It was a beginning to a new life for the both of them.

 

Director’s cut: The X rated scene

After awhile Justin headed for the bedroom. He stripped and lay there naked, waiting for Brian. Justin could hear Brian pacing out in the living room trying to get up the courage to come to bed. Justin sighed and called out to Brian. “Brian get your ass in here now, I’m horney as hell.”

Brian soon appeared his nervous smile turned to a lustful look when he saw Justin stroking his hard cock. Justin continued pumping his cock as Brian stripped off his clothes. His hard cock saluted Justin. He let his legs fall apart giving Brian a good view. Justin grabbed up the lube and made his fingers slick without taking his eyes off Brian he probed at his hole. Brian watched in rapt fascination his hand unconsciously going to his leaking cock. Justin grunted then gave a little sigh as one finger breached his passage. He worked his hole open in preparation for Brian’s huge cock. Brian crawled across the bed and pushed Justin’s hand away replacing Justin’s fingers with his own. He loved how Justin’s anus squeezed his fingers tightly and couldn’t wait for his dick to be where his fingers were. Justin’s moan’s were music to his ears, much more heavenly than a choir of priests. Justin lifted up enough to stroke a condom on Brian’s thick shaft.

“I want you” Justin said in a throaty voice.

“I’ve never been with anyone before” Brian admitted. 

“Neither have I, just take it easy and go slow.”

Justin settled his legs on Brian’s shoulders. Brian held Justin’s hand lacing their fingers together as he guided his dick with the other. He pushed in a little. Justin’s face twisted up in pain.

“I’m sorry” Brian whispered over and over again.

“It’s ok it always hurts the first time.”

When Justin was ready Brian inched in slowly. On instinct he rubbed Justin’s tummy causing the boy to all but purr. When Brian was all the way in he withdrew just as slowly driving Justin crazy.

“Mmmm you’re so huge.”

Brian smiled down at him. “You’re good for the ego.”

They began a gentle rocking. Brian leaned in softly kissing Justin’s face all over. Justin’s leaking cock rubbed over Brian’s taunt abs. The urge to cum was starting to build. Their pace quickened. Brian nearly bent Justin in two pounding into him. Justin’s passionate cries assured him he wasn’t hurting him. Brian felt the electrical zing in the base of his spine and knew he was close. He fisted Justin’s cock wanting to get him off first. Brian felt the warm splash against his stomach. Justin mewled and shook underneath him in waves of ecstasy. Justin’s hole worked Brian’s cock squeezing and milking him for everything he had. He felt his cum rush out of him and into the condom. Brian hugged Justin tightly with his cock buried in his ass while he finished shooting his heavy load. Justin’s legs had slipped down to his slim waist. Brian pulled out and stripped off the condom. It was sagging with its heavy load. He tossed it in the trash then curled himself around Justin. Brian rested his head on Justin’s sweaty chest.

“That was definitely worth the wait” Brian sighed.

“Amen!” 

They both broke out into a fit of giggles.

“Ready for round two?” Justin stroked Brian’s hair.

Brian mumbled “later, sleep now.”

“That’s right you older men need to rest more.”

Brian slapped his ass cheek playfully.

Justin groaned “Now how do you expect me to sleep with a hard on?”

“I’ll make it up to you in the shower.”

Justin held Brian all wet and sticky as he dropped off to sleep. He kissed Brian’s temple the found himself lulled to sleep by his partners breathing. It was a beginning to a new life for the both of them.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


End file.
